Imagining
by Doctor Feel good
Summary: Little muraki, as a small boy, thinks about his current life, thoughts, troubles and family. How something came to be and about his future. started this as a drabble but made it a little longer. young/kid!muraki.


The little boy looked at the ground, at the broken pieces of porcelain on the floor, as his mother screamed and wept at him. He heard it but it also didn't affect him in anyway, he only heard it. That's all.  
He didn't understand why she would be so upset at him, he didn't do anything wrong, did he? Yes, so he did broke her on purpose. But it was his mothers fault.

She didn't hug him or stroked his head, whispering soft words of adoration or even playing with him yet, like she always does. No, father had given her that new doll now, in hope she would be freaking out less because of Saki's arrival.  
It didn't work that much though, when she saw or even heard Saki's name, she would scream like a banshee and smash and trow everything in the room to pieces, including all the expensive vases.

Of course word of this would never get out, that would ruin their good reputation he was already painfully aware of at such a young age. He would always had to look proper and perfect, like a little doll.  
Even if his father had hit him, because of something stupid, he would have to make sure on his won that the bruise would be covered up. Simple as that, they always had to cover every little 'bad' thing up. Like his mother, she was never allowed to go past the gates after all.

A hard slap at his face had shocked him out of his deep inner thoughts.

His mother was staring at him with dead empty cold silver eyes.

She was silent now, his ears were glad at that fact but his mind wasn't.

He knew that this was not really a good sign.  
She would think of ways to punish her little disobedient doll, her property, that wasn't acting perfect like he should and always did.

But even though the punishments, like almost drowning him in ice cold water, hitting him until he passed out or just verbal attacks with the afterwords apologies and caresses.

He wouldn't back away.

He'll just take it like always.

Sometimes he would be lucky.  
His mother would suddenly turn nice and the apologies would suddenly start.

The voices in her head must have suddenly felt some compassion for him.

But even if he would back away, where would he have to go?

Try to find some compassion and care from his father?  
The man who likes his half brother more then he? His own 'original' son?

No he would never get it from him.

He was always to 'busy'.

Or perhaps his 'beloved' brother?

The boy who had that weird kind of aura around him?

Even his mother was 'sane' enough to notice that.  
Or maybe you would have to be more insane to notice such a thing.

Sometimes he would long for the days where his life seemed remotely normal.

The time where his father wouldn't be 'busy' all the time. When his mother actually cared about him as her son, a human being, not her favorite little doll.

Her stomach swollen with his little sister. She was going to be named Victoria...Ironic,no?

Her little doll was called that as well...

After she delivered the little baby girl, something just switched in her head.

The little girl she so gladly wanted, was born dead.

His mother was devastated and so his father gave her a little doll, Victoria.

That had started it all. Probably.

Well that was what he had heard anyway.

He was still a baby, one year old when it had happened.

A loyal butler told him that when he asked about his 'family situation'.

Even the kids at school didn't like him. He was apparently strange, weak and alien like pale.

Well except one boy...  
One boy who wasn't scared of him and who wouldn't bully him.

Oriya Mibu.

An actual friend.

But he wouldn't go to him either if something had happened.

He still had 'some' pride left after all.

He was just going to make sure that he would be powerful when he grows up. He would beat all the demons away. People would fear him and he would have revenge.

It was a stupid little dream, he wasn't even sure of that would succeed.

No, 'if' he would have the strength to grow up. He would be probably be a doctor, like he was expected to be.

Maybe his father would a little bit proud...That was unlikely though.  
Even if he would grow up big and strong and a well respected doctor and his half brother would be nothing then his father would still probably just say that it was his fault that Saki would be that way.

Life isn't fair after all.

Or maybe he would meet someone. Someone who was different just like he himself.  
Like that man from the photograph.

Saki would always insult him when he saw him looking at that picture. Calling him gay for staring at a man and having the picture under his pillow.

He was just merely fascinated at the man.

Earlier he was allowed to search trough his grandfathers medical files for his future job. So he would have at least a little bit of knowledge.

That was when he read about that men. Tsuzuki Asato was his name.

He was really pretty with purple eyes, well that was written under the black and white picture, brown hair and one of his eyes covered with a eye patch.

He looked fragile but he could last months without actually eating or drinking. Now that was something. He wished he also had that power so he wouldn't be so dammed weak.

He knew it was silly but he was hoping of meeting him in the future. It was a stupid little dream especially since that case was years ago. He should be really old or dead already by now...But because of that power of him. That healing power, keeping him alive, kept him hoping of meeting him.

He dreamed about it sometimes. It was a shame he talked in his sleep, since Saki sleeps in the same room. So saki could always hear him talking in his sleep to Tsuzuki.

In the mornings he would even bid the man on the picture a good morning.

The picture give strength and hope somehow.

Hope of surpassing his fear and strength to get trough this life.

Yes, he would have to meet him someday. May it be in this life or the next.

* * *

**Please review to show me your thoughts about it~  
It makes my day and stimulates me to write another one again! And we all know that ynm writers are getting rare...**


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